Today, as I sit here and rewatch the "Trolls" celebration series on Netflix for the fourth time this week, I am extremely happy to see how our lives have changed in the past two years. This time two years ago, I was defeated. I knew that I had to be a stay at home mom for the sake of our youngest's health. I wanted to be more than that, I wanted to be more than a wife who did dishes and kept the house clean. I wanted to be able to contribute to the financial state of our ever-dwindling bank accounts. That same time during my lowly state of mind, I was determined to see our lives change. I told my husband that we were going to find a church and we were going to be in it at least twice a month.
We hopped around the middle Tennessee area a few Sundays to find our church, the church we would call home. We went to two or three and was almost going to give up hope on finding a church that we could be both be happy with. I was raised in a church with a congregation with less than 200 people, and even then only fifty or so showed up on Sundays. He was raised in a mega church type that hosted over a thousand on any given Sunday. With all of that in mind, I knew I didn't care what church we found, I could make a home anywhere. But my husband loved the bigness of his home church, so I aimed to find one. And we did.
We decided in February of 2016 that World Outreach Church in Murfreesboro, TN was where we would start our lives in church. We knew that that was the birthplace of our new beginning. We got the girls involved in the children's church, were present at least two Sundays a month for a year. We made Jesus a priority and it was great. Our girls were ready every Sunday for church. Eventually, I started going to a small group on Wednesdays that made my faith and walk with Jesus even stronger. It was a great step towards my idea of raising Godly children. And you know what happened? We allowed life to get in the way. We eventually stopped making our Sundays a priority. I would still go to my Wednesday small group, but Sundays were almost nonexistent in our house.
I woke up on a Sunday early on in January 2018 knowing that I was not only mad at myself, but I was mad at my husband for allowing us to get caught up in our own lives, to not focus on our spiritual lives. We were doing an injustice to our girls as well, by not making Sundays a priority. Jesus is for every day, but Sundays are the days that we can worship in fellowship with others. It's important. 1 John 1:7 says "But if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin." While that scripture doesn't go into full details of the importance of fellowship, it does allude that fellowship is important.
I started reading the daily bible verses along with the church. I made sure I was praying more often, and not just when I was in need. I was making major strides towards the spiritual place that I wanted to be. However, it wasn't until the Sunday service on January 28, 2018 that it finally hit me. I realized that I wasn't sent to be a stay at home mom because of our youngest's immune system. No, I was sent to be a stay at home mom because of something way bigger. I was sent to do that because He knew I needed to work on my own faith before I could work on the girls' faith. I was to work on my own faith so I could raise two beautiful and Godly children. It hit me so hard, I felt so dumb for not seeing it before, but the good news is that I could finally see.
So here I am, still working on my walk and faith, but always a step closer than I was the day before. I'm praying on the regular now, sharing my scriptures with the girls, and embracing this new purpose - The purpose of raising two girls who wholeheartedly believe in the Lord. If you want to see the exact moment that brought this reality to me, watch the video from one of the weekend services of January 28, 2018:
Today's Prayers for our Children::
Today I am praying that Ireland never loses her spirit. I pray that she keeps her curiousity going and never stops learning. She is the kind of girl to never say a mountain is too big or too heavy to move. I pray she keeps that mentality forever. I pray she keeps Jesus in heart through out all of her life and know that even if she does meet a mountain she can't move, He can.
I am praying that Saylor never loses her sense of truth. She knows when she's in the wrong and easily confesses and apologizes. She has this wonderful innocense about her and I pray that she always keeps that honesty and truthfulness that she brings to the table. I pray that she always falls back on Jesus and learns to love herself the way that He does.
In your Son's name,
AMEN.
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